we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
