I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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