she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We are all done wearing pants today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
