What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You smell like stripper and shame
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
