Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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