So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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