That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
