Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
