who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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