Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
