guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
