You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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