I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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