he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
