k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
