College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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