Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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