i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Your penis caused this!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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