then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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