the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
