She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
