mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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