It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
