That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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