Sry I called you an 8
i permit you to call me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
