you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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