i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
