dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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