how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
