I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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