my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
