Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
