My nipple is on Facebook.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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