cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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