The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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