i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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