Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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