help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
