i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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