You're my little dorito
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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