we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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