I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
