The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
