I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
