I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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