You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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