Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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