I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
