He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
