escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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