babies were throwing up all over the place
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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