i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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