So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize