this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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