So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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