his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
