you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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