You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
