Kiss
Puke
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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