I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
