She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
