I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
