THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
