Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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