Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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