everyone is single if you try hard enough
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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